Did we just become best friends?” If you love Step Brothers, you know it’s one of the most quotable comedies ever. From bizarre insults to hilarious one-liners, this movie delivers non-stop laughs.
Here are the best Step Brothers quotes to bring back the funniest moments!
1. Funniest Step Brothers Quotes
These are the quotes that made us laugh the hardest!
- “Did we just become best friends?”
- “There’s so much room for activities!”
- “I still hate you, but you have a pretty awesome collection of nudie magazines.”
- “I’m Dale, but you have to call me Dragon.”
- “You and your mom are hillbillies. This is a house of learned doctors.”
- “Why are you so sweaty?” – “I was watching Cops.”
- “Dad, what are you doing? It’s Shark Week!”
- “You better not close your eyes when you’re sleeping, because as soon as you do, I’m gonna punch you square in the face.”
- “I don’t believe in belts. There’s no support.”
- “I’m not gonna call him Dad. Even if there’s a fire!”
- “Your voice is like a mix of Fergie and Jesus.”
- “I’m gonna fill a pillowcase full of bars of soap and beat the s*** out of you!”
- “I teabagged your drum set!”
- “You’re not a doctor. You’re a big, fat, curly-headed f***!”
- “You’re embarrassing yourself, you geriatric f***!”
2. Best Step Brothers Insults & Roasts
This movie is full of savage burns—here are the best insults!
- “You’re wearing tuxedos to a job interview… that’s funny, I’m wearing a tuxedo to my job as a janitor!”
- “This is going to sound weird, but for a second, I think you took on the shape of a unicorn.”
- “I have a belly full of white dog crap in me, and now you lay this s*** on me?”
- “I’m gonna punch you in the face.” – “Not if I punch you in the face first!”
- “You have the voice of an angel. Your voice is like a combination of Fergie and Jesus.”
- “That’s so funny. The last time I heard that, I laughed so hard I fell off my dinosaur.”
- “I work at a college as a janitor even though I feel like I’m smarter than most of the people there.”
- “I see you’re drinking 1% milk. Is that because you think you’re fat?”
- “I can’t believe I’m related to you!”
- “You sound like a baby with a secret!”
- “You smell like a baby prostitute!”
- “I hope you stay still when I put you in the ground.”
- “You’re high on peyote, and you’re talking to a wolf.”
- “This house is a f***ing prison!”
3. Most Ridiculous Step Brothers Quotes
These crazy and random lines make no sense—but that’s why we love them!
- “I’m Dale, but you have to call me Dragon.”
- “I like to picture Jesus in a tuxedo T-shirt because it says, ‘I wanna be formal, but I’m here to party.’”
- “You and your mom are hillbillies. This is a house of learned doctors.”
- “I wanna roll you into a little ball and shove you up my vagina.”
- “Why would you let us do that?!”
- “You’re not even good enough to be a P.E. teacher!”
- “You have a great set of hair. It would look good on a pillow.”
- “You have the voice of an angel. Your voice is like a combination of Fergie and Jesus.”
- “I swear, I’m so pissed off at my mom. As soon as she’s of age, I’m putting her in a home.”
- “I thought I was looking at my twin brother.”
- “I am warning you, right now, if you touch my drums, I will stab you in the neck with a knife!”
- “Robert better not get in my face… ’cause I’ll drop that motherf***er!”
- “That’s so funny. The last time I heard that, I laughed so hard I fell off my dinosaur.”
- “It’s the Catalina Wine Mixer!”
- “I’m not sure what it is about your face, but I wanna deliver one of these right to your suck hole.”
4. Step Brothers Quotes for Instagram Captions
Need a caption for your Instagram post? These Step Brothers quotes are perfect!
- “Did we just become best friends?”
- “There’s so much room for activities!”
- “It’s the f***ing Catalina Wine Mixer!”
- “Why are you so sweaty?” – “I was watching Cops.”
- “Your voice is like a mix of Fergie and Jesus.”
- “I’m Dale, but you have to call me Dragon.”
- “I’m not gonna call him Dad. Even if there’s a fire!”
- “I’m gonna punch you in the face. With love.”
- “You’re not a doctor! You’re a big, fat, curly-headed f***!”
- “The best kind of therapy? Watching Step Brothers on repeat.”
- “I work at a college as a janitor, even though I feel smarter than most of the people there.”
- “So much room for activities!”
- “This is a house of learned doctors.”
- “That’s so funny. The last time I heard that, I fell off my dinosaur.”
- “Catalina Wine Mixer vibes only!”
5. Step Brothers Quotes About Family & Friendship
The movie may be wild, but it also has some hilarious truths about family & friendship.
- “Family means no one gets left behind… except Brennan.”
- “Dad, why are you so angry? It’s Shark Week!”
- “I’m not gonna call him Dad. Even if there’s a fire!”
- “Brothers don’t shake hands. Brothers gotta hug!”
- “You’re my new best friend!”
- “You have to call me Nighthawk.”
- “Dane Cook, 20 minutes—let’s go!”
- “It’s okay, that’s just my autistic cousin.”
- “Can we turn our beds into bunk beds?”
- “We’re not just stepbrothers. We’re soulmates.”
- “From now on, we do everything together.”
- “The only thing that could break us apart is me, stealing your drumsticks.”
- “We’re here to f*** s*** up!”
- “I love you, man, but I still wanna punch you in the face.”
- “This is going to be the best friendship of all time!”
6. The Most Iconic Step Brothers Quote of All Time
If you only remember one line from Step Brothers, it has to be:
- “Did we just become best friends?!”
Yes. Yes, we did.
Which Step Brothers Quote Is Your Favorite?
From hilarious insults to the best one-liners, Step Brothers is packed with memorable moments.
Which quote is your all-time favorite? Drop a comment and let us know!
